Troll Cops
by Miss Ampora
Summary: Join Terezi Pyrope, Sollux Captor, Aradia Megido and the rest of the Homestuck characters in an epic about fighting crime and being awesome.
1. Chapter 1

*Hello, everyone. I do NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS IN STORY. All credit goes to Andrew Hussie, the creator and mastermind behind the web comic Homestuck. I only write the fics :) Now, I present to you my story.*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 1**_

You sit at your desk in your dimly lit office with your back toward your covered window. On your desk sit a typewriter, a telephone, an open box of chalk, and a red mug filled with cold coffee that you poured for yourself at the beginning of the day. Your office was painted all black so you can easily identify people, but when you get bored you draw on the walls with your chalks. Your red coat hands on a large peg in the corner of your office while your cane leaned against the right side of your redwood desk. You push your bright red shades up your nose; 8PM and you are still stuck at work. You slump forward and pull a piece of blue chalk from its box. You bite into it and start chewing. Eating chalk was just an odd habit of yours that you seem to do a bit too often. You only eat chalk because you have an even weirder ability; you can taste and smell color. With this ability you overcome your blindness and easily live your life by licking and smelling things around you. You can smell and taste, but you are also able to touch and hit things with your cane. You are an utter weirdo.

You name is Terezi Pyrope. You work as detective and cop in a large city called Alternia. You have a knack for justice and the force under your thumb. While a tad on the crazy side you are brilliant when it comes to solving crime. Not even the craftiest of villains can escape your powerful sense of smell and taste. But today was relatively calm and quiet - too quiet for you. It has been 9 hours since you have entered your office and all you had to do today was do paperwork. You slump a little lower in your seat and take another bite of chalk, contemplating whether or not you should just go home. But before you could leave your chair the phone started to buzz. You eagerly snatch the phone off of the receiver and answer with your usual phone greeting; "Detective Pyrope speaking."

"Yes, Miss Pyrope, I have someone who wishes to speak to you about your open policeman position. He also seems very eager to talk to you." You secretary, Kanaya Maryam, was the line. You two weren't friends, but you didn't butt heads with each other. You really only hired her because she was very organized, neat and you could count on her.

"Someone wants the position! Put him on, put him on!" You nearly jump for joy. Your previous partner-in-justice left you and had put up an ad to hire a new one. That was 4 months ago. Kanaya switched the receivers and puts the man on. "Hey, this is Terezi Pyrope right?"

"It is." You notice that the caller has a slight lisp when pronouncing s. "And this is…?"

"Sollux Captor. I would like to come in talk to you about your open position."

"Great! Come in tomorrow at 5pm, if that is convenient for you. You know where the office is right?"  
>"Yeah, I usually drive past the station on my way to work. 5pm is good. See you tomorrow." The click of the receiver ended the call. You slam the phone down jump around your office, squealing with joy. Kanaya can hear your shenanigans through the thin walls that divide your office from the reception desk. She opens your door and peeks in; you can smell her fragrant perfume with your back turned to her. "May I ask what you are celebrating?"<p>

"Someone wants the job!" You rush over to Kanaya and throw your arms around her. Or at least you tried because you ran into the door that she was standing behind. You stumble back and swear quietly. "Damn door…"

"Oh, sorry, Miss Pyrope. I didn't realize you were going to jump at me." You could hear the smile in her voice.

"Whatever, anyway, his name is Sollux Captor! He has a weird lisp but I can get over that quickly."

"Do you think he could replace _her_?"

"Hell yeah! We meet tomorrow at 5pm. Keep my schedule clear until 7!"

"I will do my best Miss Pyrope." Kanaya closed the door and returned to her desk. You grab your cane and coat and make a beeline to the door. You feel around for the doorknob, turn it, and make your out of your office. You lock your door behind you and say goodbye to Kanaya. You have to interview a man named Sollux Captor tomorrow and you are ready for anything. You intend to replace your old partner, even though you know no one will _honestly _replace her. The two of you were like jelly and bread, bees and honey, cheese and mice. You'd rather not dwell on that now for now is a time to celebrate. You have a new recruit.

**END OF CHAPTER 1**

*Please tell me what you think! I will start Chapter 2 as soon as possible.*


	2. Chapter 2

*After a small hiatus, I bring you Chapter 2!*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 2**_

You sit in a small cubicle that consists of three walls and a wooden desk. You tap your left hand's fingernails on your desk while the right flips the page of a book. You had painted your fingernails in a pattern of two of your favorite colors; a crimson red and black. You sigh and continue reading. Along with your book and hands, your desk supports a cheap manila telephone, a clock that usually stops working until you smack it, a cute but boring desk plant, an ancient computer, and a stress-reliever. You have also decorated your cubical walls with a colorful calendar featuring different sports, photos of the places you wished to go to, and an Indiana Jones movie poster. Your only reading material consists of two short story books both by Stephen King. You brush back a piece of your thick hair behind your ear, but it only falls back in your face. You shut the book and read the clock on your desk, which read 8:10. "Time flies when you're stuck at work." You mutter.

Your name is Aradia Megido. You work as a policewoman in Alternia and you can have a hard time keeping your antics under the hat when it comes to going out onto the field. You are usually pretty fearless when it comes to solving mysteries and fighting crime but your anger can get in the way. You hate days where you are stuck in your tiny box filing police reports. You only took up this job so you could kick ass and save the city. You are hoping that your boring week will take a turn toward the exciting.

You hear the loud crash of a door opening, seeing that your boss has decided to leave. You find this interesting because Terezi usually stays late doing god-knows-what. You watch your boss prance from her office. She seems pretty happy. You watch in silence as she clocks out and skips through the double glass doors of your building. Suddenly she peeks her head back in for only a moment to says "I am ending the day early or whatever. Kanaya, you are in charge of tonight's nightshift and page me if something happens." You sigh and look at the unfinished report on your computer's dull screen. You save it, shut the thing down, and stand up from your desk. You decide to end today on a bland note. You grab your small bag and exit the cubical, walking past the secretary's desk. "Aren't you staying for the nightshift? It is your turn tonight, correct?"

"Nah, I need to get home… I finished up a few of my reports and all and I will get here early tomorrow to finish the rest."  
>"Alright. Make sure I get those reports and try to make it here before 5:30am. Have a good night and be sure to punch your card on the way out."<p>

You thank Kanaya and punch your timecard. You exit the building and call for a cab. You live on the outskirts of the city, but tonight you are going out for dinner because you don't feel like making it yourself. A small yellow taxi comes to a slow stop in front of you and lets you hop in.

**END OF CHAPTER 2**

*Expect a Chapter 3 soon!*


	3. Chapter 3

*I PRESENT TO YOU A LOVELY CHAPTER 3*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 3**_

You place your phone on its receiver and smile confidently to yourself. You are in your house, sitting on your couch with a box of near leftover Tai food. Your windows were covered and you television was set to a random channel. You were fired from your old job because of an accident involving several codes that were VERY IMPORTANT. You hate even thinking about it so you decided to try something a bit new. The morning papers were spread out on your coffee table; the job section, the Funnies, and the puzzles all sat next to you. You have a thing for problem solving and puzzles. Today's Sudoku puzzle was particularly tough, but you pulled through like always. You stand up and toss the carton of food into your trash. You enter your room and flick on the light, the sudden burst of brightness lit up your dark apartment. You approach your closet.

Your name is Sollux Captor and you have a job interview with Terezi Pyrope tomorrow at 5. It's a bit late in the day for an interview but it will have to do. You used to work as a Computer Programmer and a secret Hacker. You like to think of yourself as a sort of spy or secret agent even though you only hack into online multiplayer RPGs to get free items and cool bonuses. You really enjoy video games and screwing with the "n00wbz" that play with you. Your level of epic is too much for them, or so you think. Your beloved computer sits on its very own throne of wires, paper plates and empty drinking glasses, paperback books and manuals, and other clutter. You push your custom oval-lens glasses up further on the bridge of your nose; one lens is a bright ruby red while the other is a cobalt blue. You even have contact lenses to match. People usually mistake you for someone who had just had just left a 3D movie.

You decide to go through your closet to find an outfit for tomorrow. You just figure your only white button down shirt and your best jeans. You would wear your white slip-on shoes, but you only have one match. You pair it with a black one since that's the only other pair you have. You set the clothes out and return to your living room. You turn your television off and dip into your refrigerator for a cold beer. You crack the bottle cap off of the bottle and drain some of the celebratory caramel liquid into your mouth. You aren't much of a drinker but you do indulge every now and again. You sit back down on your couch and stare at your blank television screen. "A new job, a new day." You say out loud, taking another swig from the bottle. You have heard a lot about Terezi Pyrope. Who knew a blind woman could do the job better than anyone with 20/20 vision? You remember most of one of her cases: a major theft and homicide.

The theft involved 7 cars that were stolen in a single night by a single person. Two cares that were found were crashed into each other with both drivers tied to the steering wheels of their own cars. They were brutally murdered before the crash. The gas pedals were weighted down with bricks and they were left to crash and lose control until they could no longer start. No fingerprints, no evidence found on the cars. The bodies were identified as the two brothers from _Finn and Harold Paper Supplies_, a family owned paper distribution company. A third car popped up in a parking lot. It was filled with gasoline and set aflame. No innocent bystander trapped in the car this time, but it was dangerously close to an office building nearby. Pyrope did some critical investigation, most of which you don't remember. You do recall the major points of the felony; the office, brothers, and cars were all tied together. The parking lot care fire was supposed to set the building owned by the two siblings on fire. Pyrope concluded that the man was fired from his job and later spiraled into a confused rage about the layoff. They found him only a few days later trying to set the building on fire again. He was charged with arson, murder in the first degree, and grand theft auto.

That is really the only case you can even recall because you don't exactly read the daily papers. You only care for the comics. You check your clock only for it to say 8:15. It's too early for you to turn in just yet, so you return to your bedroom and sit at your computer. A few hours playing your favorite game could never hurt.

*END OF CHAPTER 3*

*Chapter 4; Coming Soon!*


	4. Chapter 4

*Enjoy your Chapter 4 :D*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 4**_

You sit in a shaded office, the street lights outside offering little light due to the drapes pulled over your windows. You are sitting in a wheeled chair at your desk. It's a little too dark for you to describe, but you don't feel like describing things right now. You run a hand through your hair, dragging it gently across your scalp. You let the hand fall out of place and back onto your desk. You tap your fingers on your oak wood desk; good God you are bored. You are so sick of waiting. It's time to execute your master plan; you could care less whether or not the city is vulnerable enough for you to act. This is for your revenge, your spite, your honor and rightful position. But you will need assistance and you are getting the feeling that tonight is the right night to gather some goons. You smirk and place a hand on your telephone. You pull the phone off of the receiver and punch in his digits to make him an offer he could never refuse, or at least that's how you think his type works.

It's time for your revered return whoever you are…

*END OF CHAPTER 4*

*Chapter 5 will be coming your way soon!*


	5. Chapter 5

*Ready for Chapter 5? I will be breaking up the chapters by name from now on to clear up any confusion between chapters, unless of course we meet an new character ;)*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 5**_

_**Aradia**_

"Can you take me to the bakery on 6th? I am in need of a slice of cake and a hot coffee." You say to your cab driver, stepping into the backseat as you toss your purse onto the seat next to you. Your driver looked over his shoulder at you and smiled, responding with a "Sure thing." before starting the car. You buckle yourself in and casually grip the front of your cloth seat. It has always been a habit of yours; you have always feared car trips. Your fear isn't as bad as it was when you were younger but you still can't help but cringe when you hear the roar of an engine. You only use public transportation as a way to help combat your phobia. You knew you could never get behind the wheel; you would never endanger your life and the life of those who may be in the vehicle with you in such a way. Car crashes have always been, to you, a very violent way to die.

It was a long silent drive to the shop. You only looked out your window to help ease your thoughts, admiring the passing lights on buildings and looking at the darkening sky. It was only 8:17 but it seemed so much later. You sigh and focus on your driver; he seemed about 24 years old with a lean build and no suspicious features like facial scars or tattoos. He seemed laid back and easily trustable. Before you could realize it you were getting out of the taxi with your things and onto the plot of sidewalk that held the bakery. You thanked your driver and paid him his fair sum of money. You slipped a little extra money in and told him to keep it as a token of your gratitude for not crashing. You watched his tail lights as he camouflaged into traffic before turning to face the bakery. It had quite a few neon signs on its front; the main one that caught your eye was bright pink and read "Country Confections". You had always thought the name was kind of kind of homey and cute, but you could always care less about the name if the food was tasty enough.

Country Confections kind of a tacky place; everything sported the colored themes of blue cotton candy and had small southern decorations here and there. The place was empty but the food was still being served. You took your place at the counter and waited until you saw a woman appear from the kitchen. The nametag on her pink and blue candy striped apron said "Jane" in fancy lettering. Jane looked older and slightly heavier than you, when she spoke she had a sugary voice with a fine southern accent. "Can I help you?" She smiled at you.

"Uh, yeah, can I have a slice of your chocolate cake and a black coffee?" You smiled right back.

"That'll be $6.78." Jane replied as she tallied up the total on the register. You paid, dropped a dollar in the Tips Jar, and found your seat at a near small booth near the front window. You looked at the analog clock hanging behind the counter; it read 8:31. It was at 8:34 that you received your cake with no coffee. "Sorry, I'm makin' a fresh pot for you so that could take another minute or two." Jane said as she set the cake down in front of you. "Oh, no problem. Thanks." You ready your fork just before you hear gunshots fire in the distance. You drop your fork and quickly glance out of your window. There, staring you straight in the face, is Vriska Serket. She wore a grin that stretched from ear to ear, her eyes seeming as calm as ever. She turned and entered the shop, the small bells attached to the door announcing her arrival. "Aradia, darling, it's been toooooooo long! How have you been!" She laughed. You have known Vriska to be an unforgiving person; a cruel adversary. You have a feeling your "coincidental" meeting may end on a sour tone. Your stomach was doing flip flops and your heart is racing. She looked the same; wearing her blue makeup and wearing a black t shirt and jeans. Her red Converse shoes were unscathed and the hand from her prosthetic arm could be seen peeking from under the sleeve of her dark green coat. Her long hair was dyed blonde and her large metal frame glasses had a solid black out lens to hide her ruined eye.

"Hello Vriska. How have you been?" You attempt to play it cool.

"I am feeling just fine! Still working for Miss Blindness?" You could hear the sound of a grudge leave her cobalt colored lips. She sat down across from you at your booth.

"You mean Terezi?" You look her dead in the face. "I am, and you should give her more credit. You made her that way."

"Pfft, pleeeeeeeease, I don't need your lectures. I just want you to give her a message for me. Whaddya say? And besides, she got her revenge didn't she?" Her award winning smile faded as she rolled up her sleeve to reveal her metal arm.

"I am sure she would rather lose a finger than hear anything from you. I don't feel like being your messenger." You stand to get up, but Vriska stops you by grabbing your wrist gently.  
>"Just hear me out. Please." She begged, looking sadly up at you. "I want you to tell Terezi I'm sorry."<p>

"Tell her yourself." You pull away and rush out of the bakery, food or no food you could not stand to be with her any longer. You decide to walk home this time. You need to think.

**END OF CHAPTER 5**

*Sorry for the wait on that one. Chapter 6 will be coming sooner! Don't forget to leave reviews! I want to hear from you!*


	6. Chapter 6

*Here, just for you, is Chapter 6. Sorry it took so long! I am hoping you're enjoying the story so far ^^ If so, please tell me in the form of a review! Anyway, enjoy Chapter 6!*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 6**_

_**Terezi**_

You pull out your keys and hold them to your nose, sniffing for the yellow ring that held the key to your apartment. You find it in no time at all and insert it into the custom doorknob in the center of your door. You unlock your apartment and step into the banquet of color that is your foyer.

You have color-coated everything in your apartment; from floor to ceiling, bedroom to kitchen. You drop your things on the floor and sniff out your bright green lounge chair, or as you smell it, the pine forest lounge chair. You locate it and promptly sit down, kicking off your shoes and placing your feet on the grape jelly footrest in front of you. On the lemon drop table beside you sits your precious radio, painted cherry red just for you. You like to use radios for many reasons; one of the main reasons being that you can't see a television screen. You would be set on all fours licking the screen like an idiot and the moving colors would simply confuse you. You choose radio because it's simple and more detailed than television. You fiddle with the gumdrop buttons on your voice box until you heard the wonderful beginning theme of _Dragnet_, your favorite crime drama. Tonight's thrilling tale was titled "The Big Sorrow". You prepare yourself to get lost in the fictional world created by Jack Webb when suddenly your blue raspberry phone rings. You groan loudly and snatch the handle off of the receiver, unhappily answering the person on the other end. "Hello?"

"Heeeeeeeey Pyrope." The other voice chirped. You knew all too well who had called you. You're mood grew even more sour. "What is it Vriska? You know better than anyone how much this time of day means to me." You place your thumb and index finger on the bridge of your nose. "Can you just hold off on your goofy cop dramas for just a second? I wanna tell you something that may or may not help out in the future." You knew Vriska to be a very unlucky girl, so any advice she gives you is to be directly done the other way around. "I know you're doubt my advice this time but I think you should really reconsider! I have a nasty feeling that one of your co-workers is going to die violently. In an explosion of some kind."  
>"And how would you know this?" You slide your hand down from your nose to your chin, a sinking feeling growing in your stomach. Vriska laughed quietly. "Because I am holding the detonator. There is a little red button that is begging for me to press it and you don't even know how much I want too. But you see," she laughed again, "I won't press it if you do one thing for me."<p>

"Vriska, don't do this to me. I know you too well to have figured out that you're bluffing. We've been through this before and I don't feel like doing something stupid because of an empty threat."  
>"Empty threat?" She cackled, "Terezi, if you don't believe me, fine. But let me prove to you that I do not make empty threats." There was a soft noise in the background of the call; the sound of a soft click. A thunderous boom shook her apartment and set off several cars in various locations. You squeeze your chin and lips, unable to say anything back to Vriska. "That was for the eye this time. I had a ton of fun talking with you, old friend, but this bird has got to fly." She ended the call with you clutching your phone in one hand and the lower portion of your face in the other. Somewhere close by a radio played an old commercial advertising men's' shaving cream.<p>

**END OF CHAPTER 6**

*Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Hope you are awaiting a chapter 7!*


	7. Chapter 7

*Here is your Chapter 7!*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 7**_

_**Aradia**_

You have giving up on walking and had hailed another cab. You aren't all that athletic so walking for a while even tires you out. You get into your cab, still a tad fearful, and gave the driver your street address. Your driver this time was an older gentleman, possibly in his late 30s or early 40s. He had a large bald spot on the back of his thick head, the rearview mirror allowing you to view his thick eyebrows and nothing more. In what felt like several hours he finally pulled up beside your gloomy looking condo. You paid him, thanked him, and watched him zip off into the darkness. You keep your eyes on the street for a moment, absent-mindedly walking to your door. A sudden loud alarm makes you snap your head toward the door, which suddenly erupted in a blast of white and yellow. Your scream was drown out by a massive explosion.


	8. Chapter 8

*Here's Chapter 8!*

_**Troll Cops – Chapter 8**_

_**Vriska**_

You smirk, stuffing your phone back into the pocket of your jeans and removing a cigarette from its box in the same pocket. You place the cigarette between your lips and whip out your trusty matches. You're little set up was just enough to stir Terezi up, which is what you have wanted. You didn't mean to kill or harm anyone; the condo was empty aside from some cheap old furniture when you broke in. You strike the match and light up. You inhale the sweet smoke, hold it, and release it into the night air. You watch in silence as the smoke floats up from your explosion and you listen to the loud cries of sirens.

You only wish to cause a little mayhem; blowing something up was actually one of the gentler things you have done. You did force your old colleague into blinding herself and you did paralyze a kid you once had feelings for so, to you, blowing up an empty house doesn't seem like too big of a deal. You take another puff of your cigarette, thinking about how much shock you have probably left Terezi in. Your empty threats line was pretty cool and your execution was flawless; the first step in your revenge against her. It was only a year ago that you blinded her and that she off both your arm and eye. Since that day you two have been going back and forth at each other in odd ways of revenge. Terezi would get her name in the papers and you would stir up a little commotion here and there. You're actually pretty surprised she has never personally arrested you. Another puff, another thought. You drift back to the guy you had called earlier, the one who set up your explosives. He has always been good with that kind of stuff and luckily you lied your pretty little heart out to him so he would do it. Zahhak doesn't like to live as dangerously as you and he didn't accept your offer to join your exclusive little gang. He keeps out of trouble because he respects authority a bit too much. You didn't even consider letting him in because he just weirded you out so much. You take another puff and let the thoughts drift off into the distance.

You now wonder what to do next. You have rattled Terezi by making it seem like you want to cause some damage. Well, now it's time to cause some damage. You bust your phone out again and dial your old rival up. Eridan Ampora is just the guy to call if you want to mess something up.


End file.
